More Heart Less Buzz Words

I lost my cool today, and I’m not proud of it. I can with 100% certainty share with you, reader, that I do not often lose my cool. And to make matters worse, I did it through email. I feel like I checked every box in leadership failure.

I defined passive aggressiveness and justified it because I was advocating for a student.

I should have taken the time to reflect on why I was so upset. I should have considered the situation from the other person’s perspective. Should have, could have, would have.

Reader, I have come back to this post time and time again, not sure I was ready to continue writing. But like with all imperfections, accidents, failures, etc., I have learned a few lessons:

1. Trust the process. Not all problems need to be solved immediately. In fact, the more time you allow for thought and reflection, the less intense the problem becomes. Soon enough, the answer to your struggles will show up.
2. Pray. And as the saying goes, pray when it is hardest to pray. The sense of calm you are looking for will come through prayer.
3. You don’t have to solve all of the problems. Lean on your trusted circle and collaborate.
4. Ask to meet in person. Talk it out. Model the importance of leaning into challenging conversations and coming through to the other side stronger for it.

I used to think having a big heart in a leadership role was a bad thing. I had this idea that an effective leader is strict and firm in their decision-making. As I gain more experience (and, quite frankly, get older), I slowly embrace who I am a little more each day. And while I firmly believe any career requires you to develop “thick skin,” I also believe you can do this while still maintaining a heart for others around you.

It starts with an appreciation for what each member of your team, building, etc. bring to the table. I work in a school system, and my baseline is this: How do you treat and talk about kids? Do we laugh about the things kids do? You bet. Do their behaviors frustrate us? All the time. But do I believe kids still deserve respect and dignity? 100%. The teachers in our building walk through the doors each day with one goal: to do right by the kids. And I never miss an opportunity to recognize and thank them for it.

My intent in starting this blog is not to give advice, although at times I will share my thoughts. My purpose is to honor and thank my colleagues, friends, mentors, and leaders who have substantially impacted me. I would not be who I am or where I am without the amazing individuals God has put in my path.